Blog. Cog. Snog. Frog. Oh my Gog!
2007-03-30 19:55:30
A blog is what you want? A blog you shall have. First of all, what is the deal with all these myspace spammers lately. You’d think after Tom sold the company for 100 zillion dollars he’d spend a few bucks of it on trying to figure out how to stop that. Everytime I check my page there’s something like, “I love this fucking ringtone so much I wanna have sex with it all night long. I wanna impregnate this fucking ring tone. I wanna knock up this ring tone and marry it in Vegas, then have the wedding annulled the next day. That’s how fucking excited I am about this ringtone.I must get 1000 comments a day telling me that “size matters”. Before I realized it was spam I kept looking at the picture of the person who wrote that being like, “wow. Not what I imagined coming from that person’s mouth, but ok. Size is very important to him. But alas, I should not give them any more attention as that is what they seek. If you’re one of the people who’s clicking on there to get iphones or penis enlargement pills you’re REALLY screwing it up for everybody else. I figure if the guy sells 2 bottles of penis pills a day, he can easily afford to lay back at his crib and marvel at how grand his own penis is. “No placebo’s for me. I was born like this. I’ve also been blessed with the very first iphone and I’m currently banging one of the hotter ringtones in Santa Fe.
By the by: please don’t send me anything HTML; especially in the comments section. Don’t get me wrong, I love an animated unicorn waving “Thanks For the Add” as much as the next guy, but I disabled those things because they make your page all wonky. And no one likes a wonky page.
Okay- enough myspace business. Shalom. How are you? I am good. We just wrapped the 6th season of Scrubs!!!! Fear not, when we ended there were about 9 episodes finished waiting for their chance to air. Yes I have signed up for another year. Although tales of my new “arrangement” have not been very accurate. Needless to say, I am in and it will happen as long as NBC renews us for another season; which they have yet to do. ABC which actually owns the show (through Touchstone) has said that if NBC doesn’t pick it up, they will for what would be the final season. So, I feel pretty optimistic that it will happen. All the actors and writers want it to happen. So many of you ask me if we have as much fun making the show as it looks. The answer is yes. We always say, “Okay, I don’t know if anyone else is gonna laugh at this, but we think it’s hysterical.” We find the show’s humor very funny; which is important, because there are plenty of people who have to act in things that they don’t really find funny. We are sooooo lucky in that regard. It’s amazing when I think about it, that Bill Lawrence and his team of writers have written about 135 episodes of Scrubs. That’s incredible.
“The Ex” is coming out May 11th as you can see by the shamless plugging I am doing on my page. Please do consider putting a banner on your profile; it really warms the heart to start your day staring at a countdown clock clicking away the milliseconds of your life as you sit browsing myspace for other liberal dog-lovers who love The Clash, long walks on the beach, prefer placemats over tablecloths, consider “The Dark Crystal” to be a seminal film in their lives and live within 25 miles of downtown Omaha.
If you go to www.apple.com/trailers they have an exclusive sneak-peak clip of the movie that I feel quite confident will make you chuckle. My easy sell for the movie is this: if you laugh at “Arrested Development” and “Scrubs” and prefer your comedy a little on the dark side and always loved it when shows would crossover each other like when Mrs. Garrett left Arnold to run a girls school or when the Globetrotters ended up on both Gilligan’s Island and Scooby Doo, then this is the movie for you.
Put it this way, if you received this, we either share taste in a lot of the same things or you’re trying to sell me a ringtone. By the way, I should have mentioned; I hate ringtones. I think they are uber obnoxious. I am of the school that if you’re out of your house or your car, your phone should be on vibrate. Oh, and for the love of Yaweh, DON’T LEAVE YOUR WIRELESS EARPIECE IN YOUR EAR!!!! Look, I am by no means a purveyor of “cool”. I am very dorky. But one thing I know for certain, is that if you’re wearing your wireless earpiece around and you are not on the phone, but merely waiting for a call- you should pull it out. When you do, you will probably be able to hear your brain telling you you look like Levar Burton. (Not in Roots, on Next Generation.) You were probably the same person who had a pacifier around your neck during that fad and something tells me there’s a “Dachshund Lover on Board” sign in your garage next to the albums that contain your extensive “Garbage Pail Kid” collection. Anyhoo… I digress. Please go see “The Ex”.
I am working hard to put together “Open Hearts” (the second film I’m going to direct) for this summer. But as I have signed on for year 7 of Scrubs, I am once again in a mad dash to pull it off in time to be back to work by the summer. Other than that, I’m not doing much. I turn 32 on April 6th. I thought I would feel older; but I don’t. It’s funny; I don’t feel much different than I did when I was 18. I can’t believe I’m 32. When I was 18, 32 sounded old. That’s like… people’s parent’s are 32. Yeah, so… Please don’t break down and send me an HTML comment on my birthday. I know it will be hard with so many options out there… Instead:
If you really feel obligated to get me something since we're friends and all:
For that one day, just be really nice to everyone you come in contact with. Like oddly nice. Like “what’s wrong with Chrissy”-nice. If all 226,377 of you did that on April 6th… that would be a pretty cool present. With a number that high, I’m likely to reap the benefits.
Answers to questions:
No
Yes
Cinnamon raisin.
That sounds like it would hurt me. No thanks.
Wrinkly, like a stone mason's elbow.
I have several.
It depends; if it's itching and burning, I would see a doctor.
Remember Romper room when they would say goodbye to a few random names? They never said Zach. Stupid room.
Pace and love,
Your friend,
Zach
|